do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
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I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
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It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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