I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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