i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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