I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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