Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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