i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I will be naked everywhere
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
