Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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