wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
