Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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