How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
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He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
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Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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