I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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