where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
