first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize