Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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