I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
