this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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