Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
So squirting runs in the family.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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