That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
