Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
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