the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
