is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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