I'm so fucking centered right now
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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