Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
a search helicopter?!
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
