The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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