hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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