someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
