hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
