Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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