I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
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