it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Vodka?
Forever.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
