belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
