D3 body, D1 cock
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
