Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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