Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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