They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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