I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
zippers are such a cool invention
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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