thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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