your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
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wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
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Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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