We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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