Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
