I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
