bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize