Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
