You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
This is my gift to your gina
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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