you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Randomize
