And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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