Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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