She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
