let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize
