Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
