my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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