After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
