just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
