She is in my trunk
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
