Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
It's blow job season.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize
