In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize