It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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