It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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