I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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