I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
i think im in europe. pls send help
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
