I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
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why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
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Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize