wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
