I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
