someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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