also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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