No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
