dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize