he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
