At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
