There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
