Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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