wanna go halves on a baby?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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