I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize